Moments in the Middle

Day 2 in the Anatomy Lab at College of Medicine:

*Pats Linda on the shoulder* “It’s going to be a long year,” I say turning to Partner 1 “but at least we have Linda.” “She does look like a Linda, doesn’t she?” says Partner 1. Partner 2 interjects – “I am really getting more of a Bart vibe.” I laugh saying, “No way she’s totally a girl!” “Yeah, I bet so too” Partner 1 agrees. “Well why don’t we find out” – Partner 2. “No don’t do that!” I say, while ensuring the cover remains modestly at the chest level. We are studying cardiology after all.

Nerves have turned into joking banter across the lab as students come to terms with our strange assignment. I look around the room at my peers – medical students galore – and see my friend squish up her face with a squeal as her partner’s hands threaten to reveal their cadaver’s face from underneath its covering. My amusement reminds me of my good friend fainting straight to the floor on our first day in lab, an event she had predicted correctly with humor. I pride myself on my stomach of steel and my determination to approach this lab through the lens of a scientist as I turn back to my cadaver.

Professor email correspondence to class: Students! During one of my usual and enjoyable midnight walks through the laboratory I noticed that two tables were left uncovered. PLEASE close all bags so that our cadavers are preserved for class.

Month 2 in the Anatomy Lab at College of Medicine:

“I heard that gastrointestinal is the grossest block,” I confide in my lab partners. Partner 2 retorts, “Nah I think the older students just couldn’t handle it.” Partner 1 shrugs and says, “At this point it is what it is.” The guy from the table beside ours exclaims, “Guys come look; Professor 1 says that our guy has an anomaly! I don’t even know how his colon fit in there.” His partner complains, “Yeah but only after Professor 1 hacked out all the good stuff. He just goes crazy with the scissors!” We go check it out. Later, as I prepare for my anatomy practical alone in the lab, my neck prickles at a sudden beeping. What could that be? My roommate bursts through the door in a white lab coat that looks like the Grinch threw up on it due to the gallbladder explosion she experienced earlier. The beep sounds again. “Oh that?” she remarks. “That’s the pacemaker at Table 9. It’s probably irritated we cut its wiring.” Another presumed pacemaker chimes in agreement.

Month 3 in the Anatomy Lab at College of Medicine:

“One, two, three flip!” Five men heave a body over in preparation for the bone saw. The room whirs with its activity, and legs splay as the cuts are finished. As the midline cut reveals the subject matter for this block – reproductive – bathroom jokes fly across the room. I’ll spare you, but my mind remains in the gutter as the prime subject material is spread out before me. My friend laughs in disbelief, “Professor 2 just came to our cadaver and flamed her. Professor 2 took one look down there and said gravity really is no friend to the girls!”

Professor email correspondence to class: It has come to our attention that cadaver legs have moved around the lab. We know they cannot walk themselves, so PLEASE return all legs to their original owners at once!

Year 2 in the Anatomy Lab at College of Medicine:

“I’m going to miss Linda,” pines Partner 2. “I just hope this new one has better material cuz’ we got jipped!” – Partner 1. “Yeah, she was just so tiny, it was really hard to find any good structures,” I reflect. Partner 2 states proudly, “If I were a cadaver, I would make sure to prepare myself beforehand to provide prime material for students – just the right ratio of fat to muscle.” Partner 2 pulls out their “guns.” “Good thing Barb’s sturdy,” I announce. “Barb – I like it,” agrees Partner 1. We begin our studies of the musculoskeletal system – jokes fly. Barb is on her front side as Partner 2 excavates the gluteus maximus, and I can’t hold in my smile. I face my partner. “Hey, look you did a half-ass job” as I raise the right cheek. “You are way too proud of that one.” – Partner 2. Partner 1 laughs kindly.

Months pass, and I reflect on my experience in the cadaver lab at my medical university as a preclinical medical student. My peers and I had fallen into a conversation rhythm formed by the bonding of hours in a windowless room inhaling the fumes of formaldehyde. I had become the example which I had studied in a college course of medical ethics and philosophy. Medical professionals use dark or “gallows humor” to cope with the unusual situations they regularly encounter, ranging from the uncomfortable to the tragic. How interesting to have slipped so effortlessly into a former foreign topic of study.